Andrea Abi-Karam

                                                                                     

our meetings keep getting livestreamed

by streetlight, i love orgo
a language building, skeletal

explaining the difference b/w adderall & meth
N to H or N to C to triple H, methylamine, mine
we discovered another common language, of variable consequence

i am surprised i am not alone in this knowing

in those moments b/w spaces, tunnel freeway reverberate, sine wave transverse
accelerate jaw tilt, open airway wide, splintered vertebra, molten pavement

i wanted to be part of something bigger. collective differentiation,
endless branching, gridded loss, masked public overview
spill over sidewalk crepitus, freeway bridge sinkhole, noble gas exhale

lying in wait

i search for a syntax, a structure to fold
mechanized chaos into order

in the mountains for a week
i give myself a partial break from the news cycle
listen to the poets & the birds’ staccato

airforce aerial practice echoes

the thud of rain on gently glittering sand @ the gay beach
we approach it for a moment, ocean licking toes

the dread of the unknown
no one talks about how grey the lifeless body is
the tight packing of our internal insulation

protect signals from node to node

when our fingers slide apart
sensations have not yet become words & dissipate

i am shocked by the density of self
congealed in surface maximizing folds
weigh down the palms of my hands

with all memory lust candor one contains

in the evening of us
mutual light keeps our lungs filled

time slows the moment before impact
each lysozyme shipped out to infiltrate protein walls
we do not adapt to the livestream, & it does not stop

how hard we push our VO₂ MAX to the limit of what our heart/s can take

in the after, we emphasize dissection
the careful splaying of skin & muscle & vessel & nerve

a slice towards knowing the errors of transpiration
inroads to the sources of the body’s history
the vessel highway severed branch by branch

connection points lost to the sharp metal edge

shrapnel sculpts skin in the pattern of empire
assigning trash of the pieces that don’t fit

empiric forces emphasize desiccation
the passage of time marked by the repetition of holidays
alongside bomb tallies & mass graves undercounted & obscured

Andrea Abi-Karam is a trans, SWANA, punk poet-performer cyborg. They are the author of EXTRATRANSMISSION (Kelsey Street Press, 2019), Villainy (Nightboat Books, Sept 2021), and with Kay Gabriel, they co-edited We Want It All: An Anthology of Radical Trans Poetics (Nightboat Books, 2020). They are currently writing a poet's novel and a murder mystery.