HOW I WOULD MAKE THE AIR VISIBLE
besides giving it skin and choosing a color
or illegally streamed Bulls game static
trying to understand pain while high on its killers
the way saying fuck keeps it real —
tell me the pain is meaningful
then call me the CEO of UnitedHealthcare
the way i arbitrarily reject 90% of your claims
one percent of the world’s hottest people
control most of the world’s coolest shit
time and ease
and time and time and ease
which is different than goodness
which is different than why this shit happens
the way that it does
deeper than breath
as it enters the body
as we enter "the city
the scale upon which your heart
when you die will be weighed”
-Alice Notley
FAKE TAN HANDS AND A HOOP
the idea of a fake tan is funny because every tan is either real or fake
and a hoop
and for hands to have color, which superimposes shade on use
to wound what we could do by measuring it.
as far as i can tell, a hoop
is what a hadron jumps through, i googled it.
i like russian
in russian, you don’t say something “is” something, you just name one thing
and then you name another and we know what you mean.
the other day, my mom called, and i asked her what language she thinks in
and she said she doesn’t think
in any language at all.
as far as i can tell
culture should not be appropriated
but neither do i think it should be exchanged
i think culture should bleed, like a color
or a fake tan, or hands, and a hoop
because the wound is not the site of the hurt
just like meaning lives somewhere between us we don’t or can’t talk about
some of us are born with tan hands
and only develop a hoop later in life
others of us are born with a hoop
and learn to live with it.
if this was a board meeting, this is where the CEO would stand and clap before giving me a cost of living raise that’s half of inflation
i don't think my asshole boss hates mondays
i think she hates her job
socialize my stagnant wages
privatize moral bankruptcy
but cean, that's class not culture, says some nerd
no, i say, and cross them up. hesi pull-up jimbo.
not how fucked we are, but the nature of it
my coworker who hates queer kids bc he's never met one
your toxic nonmonogamous organizer boyfriend
fake tan hands and a hoop
itty bitty titties and a bob
yes, there's differences that matter
til they don’t
WHAT NOW
a text from a crush shakes the day
suddenly, this shit is not so bad
& the urgency of being here
splits earth like a mountain of need
i love that word suddenly
it’s the spoken speed of feeling
suddenly, says Whitman, my purpose is known
or the face of someone familiar newly lit
or sudden orders to disperse
when the line pushes back against pigs
suddenly, says Whitman in my head
suddenly, the nightly news my parents still watch says
i’m simple, i wasn’t always
& the only thing that changed
is happening
Biographical Statement